Uzbek adventure

Day One/Two - London>Tashkent>Samarkand

Great planning but perhaps a bad omen, I get to work and have left my work pass at home for the first time in 15 months.

Heathrow 18:00 departure so the choice of the most expensive train ride per mile in Europe aka Theathrow express or 126 stops on the Piccadilly line, I opt for the latter , it's been a while since I last did the all stops and can work for most of the work as a lot is Overground and not busy. Can't ever recall flying from Terminal 4 as usually in T5 heading for BA world. It's small and destinations to some places not considered but maybe in the near future Nur Saltan (previously called Almaty in Kazakhstan) and Baku were a couple of interesting one's

A little research on Uzbek Airlines shouted out to me to buy food at one of places at Heathrow before boarding. On-board the food will be pretty basic and to be honest not a lot of it (you may get one of the Dream liner places so if that is the case a little more food but Russian style ).

Check in very smooth as I am ushered passed the long queue of predominately Sikh's to the business class check-in, although not upgraded into one the 12 business class seats but still appreciated.Boarding was chaos as we have a lot of elderly people who basically want to chat to everyone rather than sit down and any seat they sat it was only the right one by chance. The check-in lady was kind as I've got a nice window seat not to near the toilets and towards the back

Usual UK delays in getting a take off slot so 30 mins late but enough going on to entertain you before the in-flight service commences. All female cabin crew and a under the stern supervision of a Rosa Klebb lookalike , I keep a very close eye on her shoes for the poisonous spike but the Bernard Bresslaw brigade are having none of it and continue to wander around the plane at random. The drinks cart arrives and a small back of bird food type peanuts bag is casually tossed at me and asked what I would like to drink. If you want a beer on the plane then forget it, red or white poured house wine and soft drinks only. The Red is rough, chilled and comes out of bottle than has been refilled from a large tank of commercial red-stuff. The food follows and further chaos as the persons who have opted for Veg are now in the wrong seats someone in then ext aisle across started to eat a Veg meal only for it to be taken off of him like a female Russian Basil Fawlty.

Do not be alarmed if you fall asleep and the person sitting next to you has changed, a youngish bloke with a beard can become an old lady - also with a beard. There are a lot of Sikh's on the flight as it a reasonably easy route into Amritsar in India and they treat the plane as a social club in a nice way. You will get thoroughly questioned again in a nice way by your new travel mate(s), job, family, how much you earn the usual asks.

The announcements are in Uzbek, Russian and last of all English by which time the woman sound totally bored and you just get an occasional word such as 'seat belt' you can hear. Although this doesn't mean the rest of the plane will take any notice and usually prompts another game of runaround (1970's Mike Reid children's program) this is fine when the plane is not full but when it is chaos ensues , in the event of an emergency grab two bottles of Uzbek Red and sit tight.

Just as you get settle down , lights dimmed and fall asleep , then on the hr the three minute announcement that tea and coffee is served so full spotlights on interrogation mode begin and even if dozing or pretending to be asleep you are requested for an answer or we will shot you. Very bumpy flight but how much was caused by the Sikh conga snaking around the place I don't know. We land about 06:30 local time now Saturday and people as expected getting up and trying to get bags before the plane has stopped. I've got about 2hrs to get my train so sit tight and enjoy the exit pantomime.

Only hand luggage so into passport control and all desks open unlike UK airports, I seem to be in the shortest queue so suspect people see the 'don't queue behind him warning on my back' as expected I get a fair number of questions about how long, what I am doing, and the number of visas/stamps in my battered passport before the welcoming stamp lands. Through to a taxi desk within the inner circle of the airport which is always a good sign as it's likely to be reasonable controlled in terms of price and service. It's all clear to me and taxi to the station (there are two but he understands high speed station although frowns when I said Chinese trains) , it's 40000 som , to be honest I had really done much work on the currency side as it's a closed currency so not available to buy anywhere in the UK, Clare would love this conversion.

I have bought US Dollars and offer to pay the £3.5 fare in those but he's not having it so get directed to the ATM and draw out a cool half a million or £42.50 to me and you. After the chap has written the best part of a short novel in various receipts he then directs me to follow him and cut through the universal welcome party of the local un-licensed taxi community, although I have my invincible shield of an official airport one and exchange pleasantries along the way. We then get into his car , so he's the taxi driver as well as the booking clerk and he asks me for my receipt he just given me. Not sure if it's me but every local airport taxi driver seems to think they are Lewis Hamilton , but the roads are good , empty and his Lada is just about coping with his arcade type driving.

At the station with plenty of time , the station is massive looks like people here must be 8 foot high although they seem short to me , up the checkpoint and guards ask to see my ticket but explain in my best Uzbek/Russian I have no ticket , this continues for a bit until one of them points to a building about half a mile away which is the ticket office so onwards through an x-rayed entrance to a large ticket hall and then ask do the trains go to Samarkand - yes , great can I have one, no , not great so after this is repeated back and forth we establish the train is full, but I can get a later train only from the other station so out into the open again and where are the taxi tout when you need one? I queue by myself in the official line and nothing until a car pulls up, I get in and the driver said no! in a polite way, I sit tight and he points the door and then the barrier - it turned out he was parking in his office car park next to me!. Eventually I wander about and sure enough my shark appears and after much haggling and Google maps (lifesaver here) we agree price/destination whereby he walks me to a crappy old car with and old farmer type bloke who he gives a fraction of my money to and we are off.

Got it all sorted at this station , ticket office , ticket purchased I've gone for business class , it's a local train and has a few freight carriages on it perfect for those who like this sort of thing, £6.50 later and I have the ticket in my hand through checkpoint Charlie x 2 and onto the platform. Ticket ushers at each door which was great , so right train right carriage etc. Business class basically means a small compartment but in the six seats only two others a Chinese man who is eating Pringles - I have yet to be anywhere in the world where these are not sold! and Russian bloke who you'd want on your side if things got rough. We depart on time to the second and I have the window and two seat to stretch out and relax, the Chinaman is now onto cheese and chive and is putting these away at an impressive rate, meanwhile Boris the Bad rummages in his rucksack and pulls out a bottle of vodka for breakfast, as the way blokes do he waves it at me with a combination smile of gaps and gold at the risk of an early end to the holiday by a pressure point grip I decline and gaze out the window trying not to laugh. A pleasant doze and the people I awake to are the same although Boris the Bad is now Boris the out cold and the bottle is done.

Arrive at Samarkand on time to another cavernous station and decide to get tomorrow's ticket while I'm here, all sorted in minutes with high speed seat booked at a price of £5.50. Run the gauntlet of the local taxi and lost it with one chap who wanted to stripe me , onto the hotel and all very nice welcome drink - not the usual dubious coloured squash but whatever you wanted and opened in front of you. Room was great and $30 for the night. Needed to keep moving as only in this place for the rest of the day and lots to see so no time for sleeping , I plotted out the main attractions I wanted to cover and again with my Google friend and went walkabout, the pavements are fine it's the 2 foot wide and 2 foot deep gullies you need to be careful of , crossing the road is not a bad as India but I took cowardly option and made sure I had a local either side of me as an impact buffer if needed. The monuments were amazing as per books and places empty, covered a lot of ground and pleased with what I'd seen. But legs and body getting weary now 11 miles of walking for the day and no real sleep for a day or so and time to get food and then head back. The place is so cheap a couple of beers, starter and a decent size dinner was just over a fiver. Taxi back at 80p - blow the expense then some well earned kip..

📷

📷

Day Three - Samarkand > Bukhara

Up early and out , nice farewell from the hotel and will write a good review as they have been very helpful and free taxi to the station, breezed through the formalities and onto the platform with plenty of time for the train (this is the one from Tashkent I wanted to get yesterday) as expected it arrives on time and is basically Eurostar type, ushered to seat and off on time, it's only 5 mins in and we are already at 120 mph as per speed indicator in the train, got a cracking window seat and the person next to me is plugged into his music , not eating Pringles and just sips his coffee. Scenery was stunning and cuts through some local villages where people are waving at the train although safely away from tracks and hitting 150mph+ now. Very easy journey and arrive 45 seconds early. I've wisely got the hotel to send a driver to this place and they ask me to look out for my name, I can't see it for ages as I think perhaps the local touts are crowding out the person via their own wall to wall tout tactics but after a few minutes not that I stand out much! someone asks if I am Nogel Fullham, I reply yes I am Nogel and we are off. Station is 10km out of town a bit like Ebbsfleet and there is a local station although not time to venture there but it's always like a safe mini tour going through parts of the working areas of the places and seeing day to day life. The streets are clean and their is the usual table of old chaps smoking and chatting whilst watching the younger men , woman and children work.

Bukhara is very small compared to the other two places and a walled city, we can only go so far by car and the remainder to the hotel on foot. It's another lovely hotel but pricey @ $40 a night for a suite. Fully energised I have plotted today routes , it's another bright and not too cold day perfect for the tourist bit so on-wards to places I can't pronounce but big blue arches and towers , they are stunning, the place is empty although I see an army of guided tours and coaches incoming , perfect timing and photos galore of uncluttered views. The main square called the Ark is like a massive walled palace and scattered around the outside is a combination of a farmers market and other side stalls , Bukhara's strongest man with a load of dumbbells weighing the same as a small car which various people try and lift one handed over their head. The chaps' children have got a junior version in place with smaller weights.

Heavy police presence but no reason to be alarmed and the biggest commotion is the arrival Bukhara's version of the Dagenham Girl Pipers , a family Sunday and lot of colours , noise and not unpleasant food smells. But onwards and upwards literally and I spot a large water tank/observation tower across the road , worth the £1 entrance fees 25p for local, I really have no problem especially when so cheap for different pricing tariff's , it's lift ride up in a pretty creaky old lift and out into an cage like doom with a slightly bouncy underfoot floor, there are distance markers around the fence with London being 5110km away , views are stunning and you can see for miles across many domed rooftops.

📷

Next on the stop was a prison - well it can't all be pretty and nice , this place I read about whilst on the train and is now a small museum with various artifacts and another < £1 entrance fee. The was where two British prisoners Stoddart and Connolly suffered in the infamous Bug Pit. In 1842, the British soldiers Connolly and Stoddart were executed in front of the Ark Fortress in Bukhara. This bleak pit is where Connolly and Stoddart spent their time in Zindon, while guards poured scorpions, bugs, and rodents onto their heads. Various other cells show some scary looking mannequins chained by the neck to walls.

But getting rather peckish and head back into town pass the various craft stalls - no-one hassles your here to actually buy anything which is a change. I find somewhere to have a snack. it's quiet but dominated by a table across from me who later provide some great entertainment for me and despair for the waiter -

So you've paid over 2.5k for a guided tour each and you're left to find a place without the chaperone which is great then the bill comes up and the four elderly women divide the bill up, certain roles in evidence

The growler/team leader

Ex-Lloyd's/Midland/Barclays/NatWest cashier in charge of splitting up the 7 pound bill based on exactly what everyone had and is struggling badly with the 12500 som to the pound. Wasn't like this in the bank days etc. Cue off piste comments ' she hasn't mentioned the bank for 15 minutes' but now is a bit quiet.

The posh woman

Totally loaded -Gerald 'does' (money things) she had a Hawaiian pizza which was 500 somm extra (4p) , 'Gerald is good for it , he's chief snow leopard at the lodge now you know (yes we all know !) which means he can have 6 pints and 4 large scotches and not get nicked driving the Rover home.

The reckless one

She had something local ( what's wrong with pizza) which everyone said ' you'll suffer for that later Shirley ' but her food is looked at in envy and was the cheapest of the lot.

The mouse

' I do as I'm told' seemed to have the best time. Ate her chosen for her food ,smiled and really engaged with the local staff.

The poor waiter was struggling to divide the four pence note they wanted change from

They shuffled out and said it wasn't bad really was it. No tip left

Priceless. Bukhara was overwhelmed

I wander further before an evening mail in was seemed to be someone's front room and the waiter in what looked like a dressing gown, took my order whilst I watch the Uzbek version of X-factor on a TV which could double up as a tanning lamp, he disappeared only to resurface which my dinner which assumed he cooked - delicious at £2.25 including drinks. Called it a night as another early start.

Day 4 - Bukhara > Tashkent

Early start and taxi driver needed to get back to be at Junior school by the looks of him but fair play good driver and knew his English Premier Football news.

The airport although massive in size had no real facilities it's mostly cargo stuff but still three security checkpoint and then a small waiting area - the 50 of us boarded the 260 seater plane and off on time for a 35 min flight back to Tashkent where it all started ages ago (well 48 hrs ago!). Landed at the domestic airport and didn't have the buffer of the in-house taxi desk so had to go free-range through the circus , got quoted 30 Euros , no idea where this currency suddenly appeared from and the bloke was really bugging me so took out my notebook pretended to make a few notes about him being a conman before they got the message and eventually got a sensible price of a tenth of what he wanted. Again great Hotel $70 this but it's the capital, centrally located and the last night.

Time for trains or metro and off to visit the highly recommended underground train set. The Metro was built for a Nuclear Bunker contingency which luckily was never used for but it did mean until last year no photo's were allowed, however this is no longer the case and you are free to snap away.

The stations are all individually decorated and look beautiful, Green Park will never compare to the Kosmotivik platforms and each one is worth stopping off on if you had time. I picked the top ten recommended and with only 3-4 mins per train was all done in about 2hrs for the cost of 13p. Further wander around town and various foot places at cheap but capital city prices. After being reversed into by a car - no injuries but provide local entertainment had a very nice meal - avoided the Horse Meat Sausage , the choice of Brain Bones and the Playful Wine I ventured back to base after pretty full on four days.

📷

📷

Day 5 Tashkent > Heathrow

Gentle morning and Airport via the National Football Stadium who were hosting Palestine at lunchtime, logistically not quite enough time to see any of the game but will tick off as done being in closest enough vicinity .

📷

Check-in marathon commenced and at the first hurdle the guard took ages to let me through, nothing bad, he seemed interested in my book about Northern England and Pies, he was a bit bored and think he wanted to practice his English on me . Further checkpoints and was really smooth. Plane on-time and a Dreamliner, empty really but still the families on their way back from the Golden Temple wandered around most of the flight.

Back on schedule ish only to wait 30 mins to get a stand , nearly an hour through passport and a further expected 'random' chat from customs as why I had gone 5000km by myself with a small bag that looked like something from the Afghan freedom fighters.

Wonderful experience, recommend it and will be back to visit the other 'Stan's'

Any takers?